Ica A. Javier

My older sisters thoughts.

Ignorant? My mother worked all her life and she is the epitome of what a strong, independent, confident woman to me means. She made sure I got everything she never had growing up. Put me in the best school possible and showed me that I can have everything I want with hard work and a strong mind. Taught me that a woman doesn’t need a man to support her, because she can support herself. That she is with my father because she loves him and not because she needs him to pay for the mortgage. My dad showed equal respect and never treated my mom as someone that’s required to cook and clean for him. And i believe thats because my mom was never a housewife and put all the financial responsibilities on my dad. Coz my mom didn’t use having children as an excuse to not work anymore and entitled her to stay home. My parents are PARTNERS they worked and raised their children equally. Having a working mother for me broke that stereotype that woman is destined to just stay home and take care of the kids and serve her husband. That that’s all that she is good for. I was raised by an amazing woman who’s capable of doing everything. And an amazing father was never intimidated by a strong woman and who raised strong independent daughters. And yes i don’t have kids, but its by choice because my mother had set such high standards of what a superwoman is. I don’t want to have kids out of vanity, just to have a little mini me. I can’t love unconditionally yet that’s why I’m not a mother. Criticize me for having more respect for the working moms versus the stay at home moms. I think marriage and parenthood is a partnership, both need to put as much as the other.

Who will…

Not sad. Not mad. There are just some people who will squeeze out all the energy they can get from you… I can never stand up for myself, I’m not weak but my weakness is never fighting for myself… Letting people continue to walk all over me. Sigh, but its okay “my treasure is in heaven.”

Who will fight for me? My God will.

Surprise.

Yeah, I surprise myself sometimes.

I have been…

Nothing but a good friend… To everyone…

Positive.

Positivity: It’s actually something new to me… It’s been a few months already and… It just feels so different, I feel different. Maybe its the lack of sleep I’m getting, but I think I’m making sense right now. Bare with me.

I may not know the full extent of struggle, stress, or that emptiness feeling (trust me, I’ve felt lonesome). My life, is no where near perfect… Just like my family. My families story, can be a Filipino drama. No joke… You have to press on. If you stay negative, you will never move forward.

That’s what I’ve learned my whole life. Move forward, forgive the unforgivable… And as of recently be positive.

Let life push you down, you’ll get up 10x stronger.

You’ll know what to do for the next craziness in your life, you’ll handle it… Think about it… Reflect on your past. See how far you have come.

Grind.

Back to the hustle and grind tomorrow. Work and back to eating healthy.

I want to…

Be like Christ, use me, abuse me, lie to me… I know my treasures are stored in heaven.